Being Productive

Since deciding to stay home to raise my little girl. I have lost, not necessarily a sense of purpose, but I feel more as though I have not been as productive as I am used to. It has really been a hard transition. I have worked my whole life and have always made my own money. I have never been dependent on anyone financially since leaving my parents at 18. I have always made my own way and survived on my own. Now I am still working, but I am now answering to another kind of boss.... her name is TAELYN.

I am solely dependent on my husband financially and that is strange for me. To be completely honest, I hate it. I love staying home with Taelyn and being able to see everything she does and each new milestone that she faces, but I have to say I feel like I should be doing something else. I was not meant to be a stay at home mom. Wow, I feel guilty just typing that, but it is true. I want to go back to work, but I DON'T want to be away from Taelyn. Talk about a Catch 22.

In the recent weeks I have been feeling better about myself and my situation. I have joined a mom's group and after just one meeting I feel a hundred times better about the things I have been struggling with. I know that I am not alone and that someone else has already had the same thoughts am having. I don't feel so horrible as a mommy. I feel less and less guilty about wanting to get out and do things without my baby. I am a firm believer that we must do things alone, away from our babies. It truly makes you a better mommy to them because you learn to appreciate the time you are with them.

I have also started becoming more active in my sorority. I have been in the sorority for many years, but I haven't necessarily been as present as I should or could have been. I am now involved in a numerous committees and I am taking on more responsibilities. It may not seem like much, but those 2 things have really made a difference in me. The bottom line is that I need to BE PRODUCTIVE!!!

Taelyn fell asleep at our Feb. Chapter Meeting