Taelyn has never been a cuddly baby. She never really let me rock her to sleep, she doesn't really like to hug and snuggle. This makes me so sad. All I want to do is hold her and never let her go and she just pushes me away. I nursed her until she was 13 months until one day she literally took my boob and pushed it away. Talk about rejection. I cried over this for quite a while. I was not ready to give it up yet. I blame the baby growing inside of me. I must have tasted differently to her and she didn't like it. Either way, it still makes me sad, but in a few months I get to do it all over with my baby boy :)
Every night I wake up a few times and go into Taelyn's room. We have a video monitor and I have it right next to my side of the bed so I can watch her at all times,(its silly) but I am always afraid that the video may fail me and someone may take her and set it to a feed where we see her and she really isn't there, so I have to go in and make completely sure she is really there.... I watch too many movies! Anyway, I go in there, I cover her and touch her legs and arms and caress her sweet little cheeks and I go back to bed.
This morning (about 1am) when I went into her room, like I do everyday, this time, she stood up in her crib and said "Mama." I couldn't resist picking up my sweet girl. The moment she was in my arms, she put her head on my shoulder and snuggled really close to my chest and went right back to sleep. This filled my heart and honestly, I cried a little. Me and my little girl had a moment in the wee hours of the morning. I sat in the rocking chair for nearly and hour because I just didn't want to let her go. I just know she is not going to always want me to hold her close like this, so I cherish any moment we get to do this with each other. Just writing this makes me tear up. I feel like she is getting so big so fast and there is nothing I can do to freeze time to make it last longer. In a few months everything is going to change and our lives will be rocked and nothing will ever be the same. I pray for more moments like this.
Here are a few rare moments that I have actually been able to capture on camera:
Sunday, June 26, 2011
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