Dreams

The other night, I had the worst dream ever! I was at the gas station getting gas and I opened Taelyn's door (something I never do) which is on the other side of the gas tank, because it was so hot. I went around to pump and while I was pumping my gas, someone came and took her, car seat and all. She was put into a black car and was gone in a blink of an eye... I don't remeber what else happened, but I woke up in a huge panic. I immediately grabbed Taelyn and didn't want to let her go for hours after that horrible dream. I KNOW that was a dream and that I need to not have thoughts like that in my mind, but man! I was so upset, I still am.

I totally blame my mother. It is all Tess's fault! When I was a kid, she would always say, "Teresa, don't leave my side, you are gonna get kidnapped, Teresa, Don't go over there, someone will take you. Teresa, You are so little, someone is just going to pick you up and take you away from me." I seriously have some seep seeded fears of getting kidnapped! It is one of my greatest fears and I don't want to pass that on to Taelyn. My mother never had to hold my hand because I NEVER left her side... I ALWAYS had an eye on where she was at all times. I hope that Taelyn does the same with me without me putting that fear in her. Oh, being a mommy has seriously given me so many more worries than I ever thought I could even think about. This is some seriously hard stuff. I guess if you want to do it right, these are some of the concerns to have. I just pray that nothing happens to her or me or Todd for that matter. I try to keep in mind that it is God's plan and if that is the way it is supposed to be, let it be, but I struggle with that. I feel like I need to be in control at all times. Maybe that is just the way that God made me and this is what I am supposed to be thinking. Who knows, just follow in blind faith, I guess. Please Lord rid me of these horrible nightmares.

Oh and on a side note, this dream is totally unrealistic because anyone who knows me, knows I don't get my own gas, unless it is a super emergency, and in which case, I wouldn't open Taelyn's door while I did it. I don't know why, but this fact makes me feel a little better! (^_^)