Sleepless Nights

Here I am once again, wide awake while everyone else is sleeping. What is wrong with me? I am tired, I want to sleep, but it seems the more I try to sleep, the more awake I am. The more frustrated I get and the angrier I get and the more anxiety I get. It is AWFUL!!!! I just lay in bed thinking, and thinking, and thinking. My mind just goes a million miles a minute. I think good thoughts about Taelyn and how she will grow up and be the perfect child and teenager and how she will make us so proud, then I have crazy, ludicrous thoughts about how she will be trying and defiant. I don't like those thoughts at all. I look forward to her 1st dance recital, her 1st soccer game, her 1st A in school. I have such high hopes and expectations for her. I pray I don't put too much pressure on her to be perfect that she fails. I pray I don't put too much pressure on myself to be the perfect mother that I get lost in that and do just the opposite. These are just some of the crazy, random thoughts that go through my mind while I am awake at night while my family is sound asleep, dreaming. I sure do wish I could join them and not take myself so seriously.