By Faith

I know I haven't been present in my blog, but there was a lot that went on last month that slowed me down. I was actually thinking about not Blogging anymore due to "Blogger Gate" but this morning while I was at Bible Study, I felt inspired to write. While the worship team was singing, "By Faith" I caught myself singing loudly and not caring who heard, sooo not like me.

When I am in church, or bible study, or anywhere there is any kind of singing involved, I sway with the music and mouth the words, I have an AWFUL singing voice. My brother, Nathaniel, (Eddie's son) is a very successful musician, even says, there is no helping my voice. I joke that if someone held a gun to my head an told me to sing on key or he would shoot... I would be a dead woman. I can't stress to you how bad my voice is. My babies don't even like it when I sing, instead of soothing them, it made them cry more, It. Is. That. BAD!

That being said, when a song really hits home for me, I feel it in my heart and it often makes me teary eyed, especially worship songs. It made me think of my Tia Suzette, she is an awful singer as well. I remember going to church with her growing up and being embarrassed, like so embarrassed, I didn't want to sit anywhere near her and my cousins and I would fight to stay away because she would always sing so loudly and just be so filled with the spirit, that she just didn't care what anyone thought of her. I thought she was crazy, but today, while this song was playing, I heard myself singing, and singing loudly, not caring what anyone thought of me. I guess that is how my Tia feels. I finally get it.

It is because of my faith that I chose to forgive people for wrongs they have made, because God has forgiven me many times over. It is because of my faith I try to be the best person I can be, because I want to please God. I try to be a great friend to everyone, I try and be there for those who need me, when they need me, because God is ALWAYS there when I need Him. I want to live a life as close to him as I possibly can. I know that I am human and because of that, it is impossible, I slip up and I am not, by any means perfect, but I TRY, and that is all I can do.

My faith is so strong and has gotten me through so many situations. I believe with all of my heart and soul that there is something better out there and there is a superior being who knows and loves ME. I feel Him, I know He is present in my life and I welcome Him. Just as the song says, I am walking through FAITH and not by Sight. I really and truly understand what it means and I am proud of it, I want to shout it out to the heavens. So when I am in church and I am mouthing the words, I don't need to be self conscious, because God knows my heart and He doesn't care, so why should I?