UGH

I apologize in advanced for my melancholy post. After a VERY rough night, I woke up feeling tired, irritable, uncomfortable, HOT and sick. I'm not a happy camper today. I honestly feel like I have been pregnant for the last 3 years. Technically I have been in a way. It started in May of 2008. Todd and I had only been married for 2 months and we were overjoyed when we found out we were pregnant! We knew getting pregnant would be a struggle since I previously had uterine cancer, but we knew it was not impossible since I had been pregnant before in 2003 (another story, another life). I miscarried that baby a week after I found out. When Todd and I found out we were pregnant, we shouted it out at the top of our lungs to any and everyone who would care to listen. Yup, we were excited.

Not long after that, we felt the heartache of a loss. While processing what happened, two weeks after, we found out we were pregnant again. How is that even possible??? We couldn't make sense of it, but the doctors didn't seem to be surprised. They said it happens all the time. Although they suggest to wait 6 months after a miscarriage to try again, sometimes it happens right away. In our case, we didn't even have time to think. We were going through such a roller coaster of emotions. This was the 3rd time I was pregnant and I was going to do any and everything in my power to keep this baby alive.

We found out we were pregnant in July and on Christmas Day, we lost our sweet baby boy Trent Mason. This is one of the last pictures I have with him in my tummy. Think about him ALL the time.


11 months later, I was pregnant again with my sweet Taelyn. I was on bed rest for what felt like FOREVER, but boy was this little girl worth it! She is my everything. 4th time was a charm for us.


I went nearly full term with her. I delivered her at 36 weeks and a few days


I had such a restless nights sleep and woke up emotional and unhappy, I didn't know where this post was going, but I actually feel much better than I did when I started writing. This is why I love my blog, even if no one reads it, or comments on what I write, it makes me happy when I do write. I am thankful for what I have had to overcome and what I have to show for it. I'm excited for my growing family and even though this baby boy, who is yet to be named growing inside me makes me emotional, I love him and can't wait for the new adventure he will bring our family.